


Clint and Natasha: Shopping Assassins

by sgteam14283



Category: Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-24
Updated: 2013-01-04
Packaged: 2017-11-19 10:12:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/572167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sgteam14283/pseuds/sgteam14283
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometime's the best defense is to be a master assassin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Got the bunny for this from mackenziesmomma when I was looking for a story prompt and then it took forever to write since it’s very time consuming to write with one hand (due to a broken wrist). And if you’ve ever been shopping on Black Friday you’ll know how crazy it can be.
> 
> As usual don’t own the characters, I just play in the sandbox.

There was little talking as Natasha Romanov and Clint Barton parkoured their way across the rooftops, leaping and spinning in order to keep up their speed. Only when they reached the edge did they stop and Natasha turned to Clint asking, “Rope or no?”

“No.” Clint replied with a smile. “It’s more fun that way.”

Natasha shrugged, “Hopefully you won’t break your arm like last time.”

“That’s only because of that stupid cat.” Clint protested as Natasha backed up in order to get up to speed for the jump. He watched as she ran towards the ledge and then leapt off, grabbing onto the pipe that was hanging on the brick of the next building and slid down it. Clint was next and landed next to where Tasha was standing. 

Shifting the weight of his should bag Clint smiled, “That was fun.”

“Not as much fun as we’re about to have.” Natasha replied as they walked towards the front of the building. “Did you remember to bring it?”

“Of course, who do you think you’re talking to?”

Natasha raised an eyebrow at the comment, “That’s why I asked. How long do we have?”

Stopping in front of the large building, Clint squinted as he looked at his watch, “Ten hours. How do you want to enter?”

Natasha was silent as she thought, “Standard entrance; get in and out as fast as we can. We do have more targets to hit, y’know.”

“Why’d you request me on this again? The other guys at the Tower would’ve been more than happy to come along on this one. Hell, Thor would’ve jumped at the chance.”

“Because Thor left for Asgard yesterday, Tony would’ve smuggled me in early, Bruce doesn’t do well with crowds and it would’ve taken too long to explain to Steve.” Natasha replied as she turned away from the building and tucked her hair behind her ear. “Besides, you can carry my bags when I’m done.”

Clint folded his arms, “So that’s all I am to you? An extra set of arms.”

Natasha smirked, “On Black Friday an extra set of arms is good to have.”

\--

The store was about to open and the crowd behind them was getting antsy. But both of the assassins were calm; decades of long hours in one place waiting for targets to show up had perfected their tolerance for patience. However, Natasha was eager to get into the store-they had a pair of red heels that would go well with one of her operative outfits (plus she promised Pepper that she’d pick up a pair for her as well) as well as a number of other things that Clint would look nice in when they were required to go undercover together. 

Natasha was confident that she’d be able to get all the items that she wanted, the only problem that she could see was that there were limited quantities (mainly the shoes) at each store so she’d have to move fast if she was going to acquire them. That was another reason why she brought Clint along-if they divide and conquered then they could move onto the other stores fairly quickly.

Clint noticed that the store manager was approaching the door to unlock it and nudged Natasha in a silent signal to get ready. The rest of the crowd saw the movement as well and surged forwards, wanting to be the first to get into the store. At midnight the doors were unlocked and all hell broke loose.

Natasha had already given Clint his items so once they entered they split up; Clint to Men’s while Natasha headed towards Shoes. Moving quickly but gracefully, she made her way towards the display and was halfway there when suddenly someone put their hand on her shoulder and started to pull her back so they could get there before her. She reacted right away and grabbed the hand, pulling it forwards to flip the person over her shoulder so they landed on the floor. 

Hard. 

Ignoring the stares and wide birth people suddenly gave her, Natasha broke into a run and dodged her way through the crowd of women. Getting to the display, she quickly found her size and started looking for Pepper’s size. Finding it, she closed her hands around it a second before another women.

“Let go, this is the last in my size and I had it first!” the other woman exclaimed as she started to tug on the box. 

Natasha raised an eyebrow at the statement and calmly said, “Sorry, but I had it first.”

“No you didn’t!” The other woman let go of the box and pulled back an arm to punch Natasha.

Natasha ducked under the swing and tucked the box’s under her arm before countering with a leg sweep so the other women fell to the ground with a _thud_. Not waisting time to deal with the fallout (and security even though the other woman started it) Natasha quickly left and got the other items on her list, heading towards the check-out. Getting to the bottom of the escalator, she spotted Clint among the sea of people and walked towards him asking, “You get everything?”

“Yup. You hurt anyone?” 

“Only in self-defense.” She replied cooly as they joined the line already forming. “What about you?”

“Same. These people are crazy.” 

As they paid and left the store to head towards the next one in the shopping complex Clint couldn’t help but notice how calm Tasha was considering the chaos around them. Although after you’ve stopped an alien invasion from overtaking Manhattan, Black Friday shopping was a cake walk.

\--

Tony Stark made his way towards the common room that they all shared and wondered how Natasha and Clint fared during their journey into the retail hell that Black Friday is known for. He didn’t learn of their plans until after they had left and wondered why they didn’t just ask for him to call the stores they wanted to visit and hold the items until they could pick them up. Being Iron Man _and_ Tony Stark did have it’s perks after all.

Rounding the corner he saw that the floor was littered with shopping bags and box’s, dresses draped over the couch, ties on the counter and shoe box’s stacked on the table. Glancing up from the explosion of retail that was strewn about the room, he spotted the duo by the refrigerator; laughing about something.

“So did you manage not to kill anyone over a pair of Dolce and Gabbana shoes?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Natasha briefly glanced at Clint before answering, “Depends on who you ask.” 

At first Tony wasn’t sure if Natasha was serious but then saw the playful smirk appear on her face. Smiling with her, he continued, “But seriously, why not just ask me to give the stores a call and avoid all that mess? Once my name is mentioned it would’ve been easy to pick up all that stuff later.” 

“Because SHIELD gives us a yearly clothing allowance for items outside of our standard uniform and besides, it gives us a chance to practice in real world conditions.” Natasha responded while Clint nodded in agreement.

In a (twisted) way it made sense to Tony but he still thought the pair was crazy. But then again his whole life since Afghanistan had been crazy so he shouldn’t be the one to judge. “Just let me know ahead of time next year so I can have you pick up some stuff for me.”

Clint snorted at the remark, “Nope. You have to come with us.”

“And you might want to wear your Iron Man suit, it's crazy at midnight.” Natasha said, hopping down from her perch on the counter. 

Tony laughed at the remark but the look on the Black Widow’s face told him that she wasn’t joking. But it was nice to see both of them settling into the Tower, that the rest of the team was really. It gave him hope that with enough time the entire team would come together to form some kind of pseudo-family.

Not that he’d admit that out loud, he was Tony Stark after all.


	2. chapter two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the blame goes to mackenziesmomma (again) for giving me yet another bunny for this story. But I had fun writing it and hope you enjoy it as well. As usual I don't own anything, just play in the sandbox.

Natasha stepped off the elevator and deftly picked her way across the toy minefield that was the floor. Dimly she could hear shrieks of laughter and knew that Clint was entertaining the kids by making trick shots with the foam arrows he’d gotten earlier that year. Then she suddenly heard shouts and saw a dart speed past her, bouncing harmlessly off the elevator door.

“Tasha!” James yelled as he barreled towards her. “Did Dad hit you?”

Natasha laughed as she embraced the ten year old, “No, although I could have caught it and hit him right back.” 

James laughed and called out, “Dad, Tasha wants to hit you!”

“She always does.” Clint shouted back, appearing around the corner with Martha and Jason attached to his legs. 

She watched silently as he lumbered towards her and couldn’t help but smile a little. It had been four years since Steve had decided to adopt Jason, wanting to help someone else who had been in his situation, and two years since Clint and Tony had decided to follow suit with James and Martha. Clint had been worn down by Steve and the fact that Jason adored the archer while tapping into something Clint had thought he’d buried long ago; that if he could, he’d make sure what happened to him and Barney wouldn’t happen to another. But that was after Natasha, as well as everyone else, beat it into Clint's head that he would never be like his own father. And of course he’d roped Natasha into helping him with James, something that she was glad to do; although she wouldn’t admit it to his face.

And in typical Tony fashion, he had decided that he “wanted one as well” and Pepper was able to persuade him into adopting a girl. Tony had fallen in love with Martha, especially when she’d displayed an interest in science, and Natasha could see at the time that he had been glad to get some good PR after the latest Loki incident (which had involved the Statue of Liberty being partially destroyed by Iron Man). 

Even Bruce had a soft spot for the kids and when Thor was at the Tower the kids kept trying to pick up Mojnir, no matter that they weren’t able to do it.

Overall, the team had really come closer these ten years and the addition of the kids only brought them closer. Plus they loved the fact that their “parents” were superheroes that saved the world on a semi-regular basis.

“-will be ready in five.” 

Clint’s voice broke Natasha out of her thoughts and she nodded, “I’ll make sure everyone’s washed up.” As Clint disentangled a giggling Martha and Jason, she herded everyone towards the bathroom to clean up. Soon everyone was gathered in the kitchen, ready to eat the Thanksgiving meal that had been prepared and laid out on the large table. 

Natasha was glad to see Phil and Maria already there when she’d arrived with the kids, she had figured they’d be invited after last years incident of getting the call during the meal with no one to watch the kids-this year they weren’t leaving anything to chance.

Plus it’d give everyone a chance to add more to the pool that Coulson and Hill were together or not.

Clint watched the controlled chaos and not for the first time felt that he’d finally found a place outside of SHIELD to call home. He glanced at his watch and was surprised at the time. Looking across the table to Natasha he said, “We better go if we want to make it to the complex.”

A quick glance at her own watch and she nodded, “Let me grab my gear and we can go.” 

“Where are you guys going?” Martha asked as they both stood. 

“To the stores so they can get a jump on Black Friday shopping.” Tony pipped up. “Although I don’t know why, it’s just a bunch of crazy people trying to rip each other’s hair out for a toaster.”

“Why do they call it Black Friday?” Jason asked as Natasha reappeared with a bag slung over her shoulder. 

“Because everyone spends so much all the stores earn a profit, or are ‘in the black,’ although they didn’t start calling it that until nineteen seventy-five.” Tony continued, raising an eyebrow at how much he remembered from his consumer ed class back at MIT.

Natasha had opened her mouth to let James know that Maria would make sure he was ready for bed when she heard Tony speak. Straightening up, she asked, “What year did you say?”

“Nineteen seventy-five.”

Natasha was quiet for a second, lost in thought. “I thought so.”

“Why the sudden fascination in the year the term because popular?” 

“That was the first year I went shopping, when I was still...before SHIELD.” Natasha replied, feeling her cheeks slightly heat up. “It was...particularly memorable. Strange coincidence.” She said, shrugging and turned to leave.

The rest of the team watched as Natasha and Clint headed out and were silent for a few minutes, processing what they had just learned. Then Tony started to laugh, the realization of what he just heard to crazy to be true but at the same time he knew that it was. 

They called it ‘Black Friday’ after the Black Widow.


End file.
